‘He bought her what?’ was the screech across the table a few months ago. We were discussing the most outrageous, extravagant gifts in preparation of our Xmas shopping. From mid-November, the papers and T.V. gossip shows are in a constant battle to outdo each other in the quest of finding the most excessive toy for under the tree.

 

Diamonds and gems are pass? when it comes to matching designer Gulfstreams and yachts. Apparently this year, if there wasn’t at least a six-month waiting list to buy the object, then it really wasn’t worth owning. Regardless of what my bank manager keeps saying to me, if you really want the best then it’s worth paying that bit extra.

 

I started off looking at some functional appliances. I mean a fridge is hardly the most outrageous item on the market. The LG Internet refrigerator doesn’t only keep the wine chilled, it also features a T.V., radio, Internet and memo functions. Now that’s practical. 

 

Then there was the new bath I’d been hankering for. The Mussel Bath by Tilo Gnausch caught my eye. It was different, smooth, and sleek but the waiting list and the $28,500 price tag seemed just a tad excessive. A toilet I thought, that was practical enough a splurge and surely it wouldn’t come at the cost of another sarcastic letter from the bank.

 

Unfortunately the $5,000 plus bill accompanying the cyclone flush and warm air dryer was again deemed excessive, even after I explained it would be a huge saving on the now redundant toilet paper. Ignoring then the practical gifts it was back to the tried and tested – clothes or jewelry. It was the jewelry we were discussing which brought about the screech.

 

During a conversation about some of the more unusual items on the market, one lunchtime gossiper happened to mention she’d read in the paper that David Beckham had ordered for ole Posh Girl Spice a diamond encrusted toy. (The finer details of the toy I’ll leave to your imagination. Just put it this way, the toy isn’t something you’d want your 8-year old to play with). This led to a more in-depth discussion as to just what can be ‘gem-encrusted’, the balance of good-taste against excessive Trumpism and if it’s gem studded, is it jewelry?

If you consider an object containing a precious metal or precious gems as jewelry then for jewelers, the world is their oyster. Cell phones, cars, underwear, dog collars, pens and dolls are just a few of the items that many are not stocking but should. Consumers are lapping up the bling-bling in a big way.

 

What was once the domain of rock-stars and oil-rich princes are now on the high-street and you’d be surprised on who’s buying. As one former Prince of all things shiny once warbled, ‘they’re spending like it’s 1999’. Actually in 2004, they were spending like it’s 1999. According to the National Retail Federation (NRF), GAFS (general merchandise stores, clothing and clothing accessories stores, furniture and home furnishings stores, electronics and appliances stores, and sporting goods, hobby, book and music stores) grew  by 6.7 percent, the highest retail sales growth since 1999.

Luxury goods giant LVMH, cracked open the champagne bottles like many others had done during the year when they reported an ‘exceptional year’ in sales. Industry analysts were left sipping water as their predictions that the company would suffer from foreign exchange movements fell flat.  The company instead announced record high sales of $16.52 billion, a 6 percent hike over 2003 figures. And before the fizz had reached the glass top, the company boasted that it forecasts a 10 percent jump in operating profit for the year. Earlier in 2004, Gucci, Yves St Laurent and Bottega Veneta all announced jumping sales and soaring profits for second quarter sales. 

 

Conspicuous consumption had returned and woe be the analyst who dared speak differently. Whilst we may not yet be back in the heady extravagance of the gold leafed, platinum faucet era of the 80s there’s a not-so-subtle sneaking back to more is more and eating of the old hat minimalism of the past 15 years or so. Take furs, for almost two decades furriers had been closing shop and opening up as new-age crystal healers. No more. Much to the discussed of animal rights activists and those of us who prefer to cuddle a creature rather than skin it, five digit plus mink coats can once again be seen covering two-legged sapiens and hanging in stores where asking the price means you can’t afford it. Technology has been adapted from global communication and industry streamlining into walking, talking, consumables. Do you really need internet access, a TV, DVD player et al on your fridge? While many of you may think not, there’s a market out there that begs to differ and are prepared to pay top, top dollar to show why.

 

But, just what is leading this return to beating the Jones’s? It’s obviously not the rising interest rates and definitely nothing to do with energy prices (they’ve jumped, jumped and jumped over the past year to a 30% increase). Looking globally, the dollar, excuse the terminology, basically stinks against the euro as anyone who’s tried to buy a coffee in Europe over the past year has found out. An end to world unrest? Umm, Iraq, North Korea, Middle East, Chechnya, no, definitely not that. So what?  Well, it’s all about chasing the dream, the aspiration of the masstige. It’s the need for the feel good factor that we’re after. And luxury provides all that.

 

Some department stores are finding that rather competing with discounters such as Wal-Mart and Target, they’re better off trading-up. Neiman Marcus this season was offering a few gifts that no shopper at Walmart is ever going to find. After all, in how many department stores can you pick up your very own Zeppelin NT airship for a bargain $10 million? Or, if you’re not carb watching how about Mr and Mrs Potato Head – a limited edition of the potato spokeshead hand-encrusted with 23,000 Swarovski crystals for $8,000 a spud. But, according to Neiman Marcus president and CEO, Karen Katz, targeting the super-and middling rich is paying off. The retailer sold more alligator shoes in 2004 than in the past three years combined.

 

If you thought crystals on Mr P. Head was the strangest thing to be bejeweled, then you should pop into the famed Algonquin hotel in New York. Here you can buy a $10,000 martini. The drink comes with a loose diamond at the bottom. But, no spontaneous drunken ordering allowed - the martini requires 72 hours’ notice including a meeting with a jeweler to choose the stone. Is there an end to the objects that can be jewel-encrusted? After hearing about the Beckham’s little diamond studded device, I’d have to bellow a vehement no. Luxury fever is back and according to a recent survey it’s not only the affluent who’ll pay thousands for a crystal studded potatohead. There’s a growing group of middle class Americans believing in the motto ‘work hard - play hard’.

 

According to Michael Silverstein, co-author of ‘Trading Up - The New American Luxury’, the middle class today have more disposable income than ever and are spending the cash. “From now until 2010, the number of affluent households and their influence will continue to grow. The rising tide of affluence is driven by the 78 million baby-boomers who range in age from 40-58 years. This is the age of empy nesting, when consumers are earning the most money in their lives, but no longer have to stretch their paychecks across the demands of a growing family,” notes Pan Danziger of Unity Marketing and author of ‘Why People Buy Things They Don’t Need’. A crystal Potato Head is case in point, it’s hardly a necessity for living, unless you’re an obsessive potato freak. As discretionary spending grows, so does the consumer’s desire for the best and the brightest. And, nothing is better or brighter than gems. So before you laugh at some of the outrageous bejeweled objects for sale, just remember, someone, somewhere is buying them. As for Mr. Potato Head, apparently there are several potato freaks out there who were more than willing to spend a few thousand on their favorite vegetable.