Don't Blame it on the Lab Growns

"So I've been feeling a bit 'guilty' from buying my fiancee a lab-grown diamond even though she has openly stated she doesn't care either way and totally loves the ring."

That's just one of many stories of lab-grown woe on the internet. Dig a little deeper and you'll find many more. Such as this, from a groom-to-be who bought his beloved a 3.6-carat whopper.

"She was initially floored that I had spent so much but later became suspicious that I had managed to get such a large stone," he wrote.

"When she saw it was lab-grown she got upset that I hadn't bought her a 'real' diamond."

She flipped after she saw the grading certificate - it wasn't a natural gem - according to his post on Reddit, the anonymous online forum/confession box.

Here's another, also a Reddit post. This time it's from a bride-to-be whose fiancé "thought nice rings only cost $500," and wasn't happy with the idea of splashing out much more on a natural diamond.

"I've offered to pay for half or more than half of the engagement ring to make him comfortable with the idea.

"The union isn't about the ring, but I do want one that I am in love with because I'll be the one wearing it for the rest of my life."

And another: "Seth knew the ring was cheap and was hoping Lydia wouldn't find this out."

This was written by Lydia's sister in a post that attracted widespread media interest. Seth had apparently been bragging to friends that he'd spent $50,000 on a ring. He hadn't. 

"Lydia ended up calling off the engagement, and is currently staying with a friend and not talking to Seth."

I took a deep dive down the Reddit rabbit hole this week after reading the forum's latest tale of lab grown misery.

This time it was the groom-to-be who broke off the engagement. His girlfriend accepted his proposal, then found out that the $2,400 ring he'd bought her was a lab grown.

She felt "under-valued" and said he could have, and should have, spent $20,000 on her diamond.

He insisted the money was better spent on a down payment for a house and ended the relationship.

"We clearly have different values," he said. "And I realized this isn't the kind of marriage I want. It hurts - I won't lie - but a price tag on a shiny mineral shouldn't define the foundation of a partnership."

Again and again we see enough guilt, self-esteem (or lack thereof), hurt pride, deceit, disappointment and hostility to keep a team of couples counsellors busy for a long time.

The final example - the groom who called off the wedding - is arguably the most revealing.

It seems he didn't lie about the diamond. He simply didn't say one way or the other.

The fact that he and his (now ex) fiancée discovered they were on such different pages before they said: "I do" may have saved them from a very unhappy marriage.

Lab grown diamonds may be the trigger for all this heartache. But is the problem really rooted in the invisible difference between one piece of carbon and another really?

Arguments in a relationship are seldom about what they're about. They're the culmination (so I'm told) of days, weeks or months of niggles, resentments or worse.

And a husband who is deceitful about the provenance of a diamond he buys for the love of his life may well be deceitful in other departments.

Have a fabulous weekend.